I meet up with Dylan at the hostel and this is where the adventure begins.
The days leading up to the Full Moon Party and the days preceeding it, host an array of parties as big as the full moon itself. the first night we're there is the jungle Party. The name says enough. Speakers hanging off trees like monkeys, throw together bamboo bars, wooden walk bridges over creeks that under normal circumstances would only support a 3 year old child and barely enough lights to reveal the drunken body at your feet. Is he alive? YEH he'll be right!!
The next day we wake up worse for wear, donning an interesting canvas of fluro coloured body paint from head to toe. It's started. And for the next 72 hours this will probably be the best we feel. Our bodies will be put to the brink, tested physically (for Dylan and hes banged up foot), mentally (when the first drink is downed at 11am) and emotionally. Emotional you may ask? Well a man can get quite upset when he's awoken by German tourists putting on their hiking boots in the dorm at 8am.
Hungover as we are, we decide, against all common sense to hire scooters for the day. What could possibly go wrong? Well to cut things short, we end up getting lost with no map and no knowledge of the Thai language (except "You are beautiful/cute") and on a dirt road reminiscent of Wolf Creek. I think it's at this point, flying 110 kmp/h down a pot hole ridden road and hungover, passing villages with poverty stricken Thais that we realise the two different worlds that exist in Ko Phangan. On one side you have families of 10 living in what could be best described as a lawn mower shed, earning $10 a day, whilst a few kilometres away some 20,000 foreigners party the night (and morning) away blowing $150 (a months salary for a Thai) without a second thought. But alas, the party must go on.
We meet our host of the hostel Dave. Dave is a bald 50 something year old Australian man dancing with no shirt on and going through a mid life crisis that's resulted in him buying a hostel on an island where the average toursit age is in the twenties. Basically a future version of us. After a few drinks and a brief banter, Dave is ushering us behind the bar with a cheeky grin. We look down to see two perfectly arranged lines of white powder. Dylan nudges me with a confused look, "is that baby powder?". I look at him and shake my head, "no this is no ordinary powder baby". Dave stares at me with an excited smile. I suppose this is what a grown man in a candy shop looks like. But for a man who's old enough to be my dad its a weird experience to say the least. "No thanks Dave", is my response. Before we can slowly shuffle backwards away, Dave is telling us he can get us anything we want. "I can get you guys acid, coke, MDMA, speed, ecstasy, weed you name it'. Before we can tell him again were not interested, he's got a 1000 baht note up his nose, snorting his worries away. I think Dave's going to be in Ko Phangan for a while.
The night of the Full Moon is upon us, the big white disc in the sky staring down at us as if to say, "you guys don't know what you're getting yourselves into boys. Yeh we don't know, but we don't care. This is the party of all parties. This is where when the going gets tough the tough get going....and then end up washed up on the beach after one too many mushroom shakes and an early morning swim. We later find out an average of 4 people die every full moon party mostly from drowning or scooter accidents. Mum and Dad, don't worry we're still alive.
Anyway enough about the morbid stuff, we're 2 young guys and were invincible!!
After choosing our outfits earlier that afternoon, a pink short shorts, fluro green crop top and fluro orange headband/wristband ensemble that would put Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to shame, we descend on Hat Rin, the heart of the action where the chaos and mayhem will take place. We look absolutely fabbbbbulous in our garb and get a neverending chorus of laughs, photo requests and comments from Thais of "ohhh sexy lady boys!". We love it though, any attention is good attention at Full Moon.
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| Gotta dress to impress! |
We head down to the beach, bucket in hand, fluro clothed and body painted. We're the typical full mooners (cross dressing excluded). As we step onto the beach we're met by one of the most amazing scenes of our lives. As far as the eye can see there is a 2 km ocean of every colour you can imagine. It's like an acid trip meets licorice all sorts. Shit metaphor but you get the idea. For the next 12 hours we don't miss a beat.....literally. People don't walk at Full Moon they dance. If you go to get a bucket you dance to go get it Copacabana style. It's infectious. Addictive. And weirdly completly normal.
First bucket
Due to the complete lacko of material on our pink short shorts there are no pockets. Luckily Dylan has a money belt so he stores his precious Thai baht in his. me on the other hand have to shove my Baht down my jocks.
A month earlier I'd spoken to a bloke called Gav in a bar in Patong, Phuket. He'd told me the story of how a guy who had beeen thrown in jail for standing on a note with the King's face on it. Disrespecting the king is the worst crime in Thailand.
A month later after tyhis conversation and a few drinks later, I was searching through my jocks looking for the Thai Baht i'd sworn was there. Alas it was resting on my balls. As I took a note out to give t0o the drink man the look of shock on his face was evident. at which point I turn to Dylan and say, "what would happen if you had the king's face against your balls?". Needless to say we grabbed our buckets and danced back to the festivities.
It was at 10:30am, well after the sun had risen, that we decided to make our way back. One of the most memorable but forgettable nights of our lives had come to an end. For Dave though, i'm sure his night was just beginning.
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